A Pair of Batting Gloves

Sunday night was an extremely sad reminder of the business that the game of baseball at this level has become. One of my best friends in our organization called me into the hallway following our double header and told me that he had been released, and I was crushed. This is a guy who I have played with since we both got drafted sharing over 200 games, hundreds of hours on buses, and including portions of 3 different seasons. The stories and memories that he and I have can only be understood in a way that good friends can. I'll remember the way he hustled, the way he believed in himself, and his heart for playing the game the way it is supposed to be played. When a player gets released it's kind of like a death in our baseball 'family.' They fly out the following day and because of how players are from all over the country and the world, many spend the rest of their lives never to cross paths with one another again. The past few days I have thought a lot about how that isn't much different from real life. We don't know the day or hour when either you or loved one is called into the 'manager's office' to be told that your time is up. I had just had dinner with my friend the night before, and had hit with him off a tee that very day...and now he is gone. When I got to my locker the next day, I found several bats and a pair of batting gloves that he had left me. I wore them yesterday in honor of him and to carry on the dream that he had left behind. Isn't that what we are doing here in life, carrying on from the ones who came before? It makes me wonder how will I have lived with the time I was given, what kind of legacy will I leave behind, what will I have left behind besides just a pair of batting gloves...

I'll miss you dear friend!

Life on a bus at 3 AM

Ahhh....the bus. A word that every minor leaguer knows all too well. Of the 140 games that we play each season, 70 of them are on the road. Normally a road trip lasts about a week, and you will play about 3-4 games in two different cities before returning home. Just in case you were wondering, that doesn't mean sleep in the hotel and then start the return trip the following morning....that would mean another nights cost with just under 20 rooms to pay for. No, we bring our bags from the hotel to the field the night of the last game, and following the game we shower and pack our baseball bags and then drive through the night. If you aren't used to sitting in a bus seat for a lengthy period of time, trust me, it never becomes something you look forward to. But over time, you get used to it and it almost becomes a sanctuary. Where else in life do you have hours upon hours to read, write, listen to music, hear sermons, and just think peacefully and not feel like you have to go get something else done? Some guys play cards, some sleep, others watch movies on their labtops, and the rest do whatever they know how to make the time pass faster. Every league is different but most trips average around 6-8 hours. After a game it takes a little while for the bus to settle down, especially after a win, but eventually around 1 or 2 AM most guys have fallen asleep. I have seen through numerous trips that I can sleep until about 3 AM and then my eyes open, wide awake. I can't really explain it, but I just have come to expect it. If I had to pin point some of my fondest memories of this whole experience it would be in the wee hours of the morning on a minor league bus. With the low growl of the bus traveling down the near empty highways setting the stage, I have written some of my best journal entries, read through countless books, spent time fervently praying and just simply staring out the window to let my mind wander in thought. Just so peaceful...except the time we drove from Casper, Wyoming to Idaho Falls, Idaho and our bus driver bet our manager that he could cut a whole hour off the trip. Cutting corners on mountain curves hitting tree limbs along the way, two wheel near spin outs on changing highways, and more left our entire bus wide-eyed and scared for the entire night. Oh...and he won the bet! A few adventurous encounters with tire blowouts have left our entire bus in the middle of nowhere waiting on a wrecker on the side of the highway. Imagine a team of guys outside the bus, sitting in the trees near the woods at 2 in the morning, almost the perfect beginning for a new horror film! Well, the stories are endless but the memories sure are sweet. Some might say the bus is the worst part of playing professionally, I just might disagree...

Host Family

Of the many experiences of Pro Ball one of the best is living with a host family. Throughout my baseball career I have lived with 4 different families over the course of 6 years. Instead of living in an apartment in a foreign city, you are thrust into a family that integrates you into their lives utterly. From Utah, Kansas, Texas, and Michigan one is able to experience the culture of an area of the country so much better through the eyes of those who live there. Whether it is spending a day on Lake Michigan, going to hockey practice, or just going to eat after one of my games, I definitely don't see where I live as just a place to lay my head. It's the people that make life what it is! This year I am living with the same family as I lived with last year, Bob and Lisa Bean with their twins Carter and Chloe, (as well as their two little dogs, Lulu and Cici). Growing up I always wanted to be a big brother, and so I have really enjoyed the thrill and responsibility of living with 9 year old twins. The Bean's love and support is amazing, and over time you begin to feel like you are apart of their family. For Easter lunch I went over to Lisa's grandmothers house along with 30 members of their extended family. One thing that I asked my teammate and roommate Jordan Pratt last night was, "how many people have you gotten to know that you never would have because of the game of baseball?" It's unbelievable if I stop and think about it, but it also makes one ask the question why do I get to experience all of this? Minor league baseball could be viewed as just a quick stop on the way to the big leagues but I feel that is so much bigger than that. At the end of the day, I hope I am not just remembered for what I did on the field, but for all the relationships I made and the people I grew to love!

Opening Day!

I will remember staring at the teams last week, reading through the names slowly, one by one...and finding mine on our Michigan team! I get to still do this, and I couldn't be more thankful. In the circus of days that followed, we packed up our gear, made arrangements for getting our cars home, flew to Michigan, drove from Detroit to Midland, practiced for two days, met our boosters, received all our uniforms and gear from our team, got settled in our host family's homes, and then drove down to Dayton, OH for our first series! To say that it was a little crazy is an understatement. But as baseball players, this is what the early morning lifts in the off season is for, why we spend a month training in Phoenix, and why we pack up and leave all our friends and family behind for 6 months. To play baseball under the lights with fans in the stands and with something on the line. Now of the 140 games we will play over the next 152 days, there is one that stands out among all the rest. One that no matter how long you have been playing, the butterflies still get you, Opening Day! There is a quietness in the locker room before the game, a nervousness, an excitement that has been building for months now. No matter how you played last year, what your stats were, what team you were on, or if you were injured, this is a totally new year. Nothing of last year or years matters now, it is just this year. And something that makes Opening Day special, is that every team is undefeated, every pitcher has a perfect ERA of 0.00 and every hitter is hitting 1.000! I like the idea of new beginnings, of redemption and feeling new again. If a player looked back and always remembered his failures of the past then it will lock him up to succeed to his full ability in the now. I wonder if there is something deeper there than just a baseball season? Something that is inside all of us, where we desire to feel new again? What if that was possible to have a new 'season' of life? I believe there is...

For One More Day

As Spring Training inches closer and closer to when the teams break camp for the season, there is that certain 'day' when a player learns of his destiny for the upcoming season. No matter how many years someone has been around the game, seeing the sadness in the eyes of a teammate and friend who just found out he has been released is one of the sickest feelings this game brings. It is inevitable and part of the profession of baseball but even in the business side of this, there are real people with real dreams that end each Spring Training. At the other end of the spectrum, seeing the eyes of a player who made a team who had worked hard the entire off season and fought tooth and nail for every at bat and play to keep a jersey on his back for the 3rd, 5th, or 15th season is special to see. The silence in the locker room that day can cut right through you as guys walk towards the list of teams. My question is where does one's Hope lie? Is it in a game, in a ball or glove, or elsewhere? I know that no matter how long I play this game, one day it will fail me. My arm will lose it's strength, my legs will slow and weaken, and no matter how much my heart still wants to dive around the infield my body will fail me. So my question remains, where does my Hope lie?

Psalm 62:5-7 says "For God alone, O my soul, wait in silence, for my hope is from him. He only is my rock and my salvation, my fortress, I shall not be shaken. On God rests my salvation and my glory; my mighty rock, my refuge in God."

My hope isn't in a game, in a decision from the front office of my team, or in my body to carry me through, but in the Lord! I can compete fearlessly, play freely, and know that in the end I trust that God is in control of my baseball career. Realizing that baseball will end one day I play with a reckless abandon out of a grateful heart that I still get to do this...for one more day!